Parents now seem to have an ambition to arrange the entire future of their children by themselves. From enrollment, advancement to work, going abroad, from buying a house, buying a car to getting married, and having children, I have to plan ahead, raise funds for it, and even go to battle personally. I feel that this is the responsibility.
What I want to remind you is: Is your child's future determined by you? Half of his future is in the hands of God, that is, his external encounters, and the other half is in his own hands, that is, his mentality and ability to deal with external encounters. For the first half, you are completely powerless; for the second half, you can play a big role, which is to give him the correct education to make him truly outstanding in his mind, so that he can fight for his own happiness and bear the necessity of life. Some suffering. If you do not make an effort in this regard, the result has trained on a weak mind, then I can conclude that, one day you will certainly find that you are now for his pains operations are all in vain.
The real goal of education is to make children a kind, rich and noble person
From the way a person educates his children, he can best see his own life attitude. Parents who force their children to participate in various competitions often eager for quick success in their lives. On the contrary, a person who is indifferent to fame and wealth must also be willing to grow up happily in accordance with nature.
From this, I obtained a basis to analyze phenomena that seem to violate this law. For example, I can basically conclude that a person who does nothing but persecutes his children to do great things, his inaction is actually incompetence and unwilling; a person who struggles hard by himself but allows his children to grow freely, his desperation is somewhat out of helplessness. Both of these people want to realize their unfulfilled wishes in their children, but the nature of the wishes is just the opposite.
Being a person and teaching others are fundamentally the same. What I value most in my life is what I want my children to get most in education. Entering a prestigious school and seeking a lucrative career, how does this kind of thing qualify as the goal of life? So it cannot be the goal of education. My expectations are much higher than this, that is, I wish my child to be a kind, rich and noble person.
I am definitely not an expert in teaching children, I am just a father who loves children. Since love, we must do two things, one is to make children happy now, and the other is to make children happy in the future. Today, the key to achieving these two points is to provide a small environment for children to grow as healthy as possible.
There are very few parents who do not love their children, but it is questionable how to truly love their children. The prevailing method now is that the material is meticulous, the homework is tight, and the spirit is insensitive. In my opinion, this is not only not loving the child, but also harming the child.
Let children have a happy childhood, able to grow happily, healthy and freely
Those who truly love their children will definitely work hard to make their children have a happy childhood, so as to lay the foundation for their children's lifelong happiness. How to do it specifically, let me talk about my experience for reference. There are three main points. First, be willing to spend time with children playing games, chatting, and spending happy time together, so that children can often enjoy living family affection. Second, try to resist the harm of the exam-oriented education system and protect the healthy growth of children's nature and intelligence. Third, pay attention to cultivate the child's life Chi Hui and independent spirit, not to the children ready for a ready-made future, but the children will not only themselves to strive for happiness, but life must bear the suffering.
For the future of my child, I never make specific plans, only make abstract orientations, just to make him a physically and mentally healthy person with a good mind. It is presumptuous and misleading to prescribe or even imply specific future career paths for children. I only care about one thing, that is, to let children have a happy childhood and grow happily, healthy and freely. As long as this is achieved, what he will do in the future, he will make the best decision himself, a hundred times better than what we can do now .
Today’s parents seem to be far-sighted, fighting for a good career in the future when the child is very young. For this reason, they are desperate to get their children into key schools and various extracurricular classes. From the perspective of children, they have been involved in terrible competition since kindergarten, from elementary school to university all the way, in order to get that diploma, I don't know how much homework and exams they have to endure. But in my opinion, this education method happened to be a loss from the very beginning. The body and mind cannot develop freely and healthily, and only learn some skills. How can there be great prospects in the future?
From childhood, adolescence to youth, it was originally the most beautiful and most important stage of life. It has its own irreplaceable value. Now this value is reduced to just preparing for a future job. What a precious childhood and youth, sacrificed for such a small goal.
I want to say to smart adults: If you cherish your childhood, you must also respect your children's childhood. When your child is playing carefree, don't disturb him with the serious things in your eyes. When a child weaves a beautiful dream, don't use the reality in your eyes to correct him. If you insist on putting your child on the path of adulthood, when you do this, you are rudely taking away his childhood.
The harvest of quality education is something no one can take away, and it will have a long-lasting effect throughout life
Good family education has two effects on school education. One is to add points to quality education, and the other is to reduce the burden on exam-oriented education.
In intellectual education, the least important is the instillation of knowledge. Of course, it is possible to teach children literacy and reading, but in my opinion, this is at best a means and must not be used as the goal and standard of education. It is not only ridiculous but also sad to pursue how many characters and ancient poems children can learn, and even boast with them. Whether the method of teaching knowledge is correct and whether it is valuable or not depends entirely on whether the result stimulates or suppresses the child's interest in knowledge. Active rationality is the source, and if the source is unobstructed, there will be a long flow of living water; when the source is dry, no amount of knowledge will be stagnant water.
As for the intellectual education of children, I am not a very careful parent and do not have any careful plans. However, I am more mindful and will pay attention to the children's intellectual flashes, and give timely praise and recognition. In fact, the energy of a child’s rational awakening is very large, and there will definitely be curiosity, questioning, and thoughtfulness. All that is needed is to encourage him and give him a direction so that he knows that these are good qualities, so that he is full of confidence. Continue to carry forward. On the contrary, if he turns a blind eye to the intellectual qualities of natural growth, but sets a set of artificial standards for him, he will inevitably lose ground and get half the result on the road of intellectual development.
I am convinced that nurturing is not teaching, it is the most effective and labor-saving education, and good quality is nurtured. Therefore, being a parent means that life puts forward a requirement of you: you must improve your own quality.
The biggest failure of a parent is to be regarded as a boss or a slave by the child
From one aspect, the talents of music, painting, and sports are special talents, and only a few people are suitable for them. On the other hand, they are the basic qualities of a fully developed person. You can use it as your hobby. Incorporating the assessment of so-called expertise into the test-oriented education system, on the one hand, has distorted the nature of art education and sports, and transformed them from the free development of human nature into test-oriented tools. On the other hand, it has been too much. In addition to the heavy homework, it adds a new burden to the children.
Young children will show certain interests and abilities in art, such as painting, music, dancing, etc., but this does not mean that everyone has to become an artist when they grow up. To be an artist, you must have talent, and you can’t conclude that you are talented based on your childhood interests. The true value of early childhood art activities is that it is an important aspect of mental development, which can make children's sensibility, imagination, expression and creativity grow well. This in itself is a major gain. No matter what occupation the child will engage in in the future, this gain will be reflected in his work and life.
In my opinion, forcing children to learn an art for a long time is completely against the nature of art. This is often done for strong utilitarian purposes. In the end, even if a skilled artisan is cultivated, the painful price paid is incurable trauma and distortion of human nature.
How parents do, the best way to show a person's personality, quality and education. Being regarded as close friends by one's own children is the greatest success a parent can achieve. However, the biggest failure that a parent can suffer is not to be seen as an opponent and enemy by his own children, but as a boss or a slave.
- Jan 21,2022
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